Thursday, July 28, 2011

Veni, Vidi, Vici

When I heard these words they truly struck a chord with me in more ways than one. It means I came, I saw, I conquered in Latin. As I embark on my quarter life crisis (yes roll your eyes now- I get I'm still young) these words have become the motto I want to use to set the pace for my next 25 years. In recent months leading up to my big 25th birthday & golden birthday by the way many things have happened or I've had a new outlook on that has made me look at how I value my life & relationships differently. You're probably thinking huh?? Let me explain some take aways I've had thus far in my life & what I want to change going forward...

 I've Learned....

You have one life so live it to the fullest. Let's just be honest we've all done something at some point that maybe in the moment -- or morning after you cringed and thought what was I thinking?? I know I have, however as I hit 25 and closed the chapter on my single days I now don't regret that I drink I had that put me from tipsy to wasted, the nights I danced on the bar top & lived in the moment, the night I made out with some girls boyfriend and she confronted me in the bathroom (please he sought me out and he totally reminded me of Justin Bobby from The Hills), I called in "sick" to work because in all reality I was to hung over from the previous night I mean mornings festivities (don't judge my work ethic on a night of fun. Plus this was def in my early 20's and like you haven't done it...), you slept with someone who you thought their name was Mike but the next morning realize it was Steve, and the list could go on and on but my point is you live once & you must savor the moment. You never know when your life could change... 

It's about quality not quantity- I can remember when Facebook first became mainstream (yes I'm probably dating myself here but I was only a Sophomore in college) and it was about asking as many people as you thought were your friends or acquaintances with to be your "friend" but how many people of those 500+ people are you really friends with? Okay now I'll admit I don't audit my Facebook friends but I do audit my relationships I entertain in real life. I've learned it's not about how many friends you have but who you have & if they will truly be there for you thought the good times & bad. Also what value they bring to your life & what value you bring to theirs. In the last year I've done some major evaluating of my friendships and some people just had to go for one reason or another. Now all my friends in my life are people who I can truly say are my friends and will be there no matter what. 

  In life we've all wished we were someone else or wish we could be more like someone else or changed something we do to emulate someone else. At the end of the day I've learned that I want to be true to myself and I am who I am so take it or leave it. Now it's taken me years to get to this point because while I've always been very opinionated as a person I've always wanted everyone to like me and think positively about me. However I have come to the conclusion of who cares what others think I mean honestly. The people who know me and the true me know who I am and can appreciate that. I am the type of person is tells you like it is- it is very black & white with me- I'm a straight shooter. Now some people may find this abrasive but oh well it's a tough world out there so grow some thick skin. Over the past couple of years I have taken this 'say it like it is' mentality and not held back in certain scenarios and in some cases it escalated the scenarios or severed ties with people but at the end of the day the point was driven home. 
  For example, there was this girl who I wouldn't put in the friend bucket but I defiantly fell into her friend bucket. She was so much to handle- almost like a full-time job and she didn't get my schedule wasn't a Monday-Friday 8-5 I worked various hours and various days (no I'm not doing anything illegal I work in retail which at times the hours I work should be illegal). So long story short I couldn't handle the demands she was placing on this "friendship" and she didn't take no very well. Finally after many attempts I finally told her that she was, "on a crazy train headed down a one way road and I was getting off." Harsh? Maybe but rust me when I say I needed to be blunt as possible with her. 

Family is what you make it
  I've come to the conclusion that yes we all have family but at the end of the day you may not get along for one reason or another. In wake of getting married and learning this first hand- family doesn't always have your best interest or are accepting. So family is what you make it. My family right now consists of my husband, myself, our dog, & my mother. Couldn't be happier. 

I'm sure my list will grow as I get other light bulbs moments before my big b-day but I hope that you find these game changers I've had some food for thought for your own life. 

1 comment:

  1. Spring cleaning isn't just for your home... it's also for your life and your heart. It's hard when you come to the realization that you have to let someone go for one reason or another, especially when you've invested in that relationship. Good for you for knowing which relationship to nurture and which to just let go.